That seems to be the biggest problem in my relationships. its like i want something soo bad because other people are happy when they have it (envy) .Its funny because i picture myself with a certain person but i end up dating the complete opposite. Im so Despreate to call someone my boyfriend i tend not to care exactly who it is .AND the patterns is ALWAYS ALWAYS (i kid you not) the same . Took me a moment to realize .
Here are the signs that its not gonna work for me in the long run
1) Happens at an event (ball, graduation party,birthday .ect.)
2) Its Me and him Alone
3) having a short breath conversation
4) Surprises me with a kiss
5) After that perfect kiss i linger on his shoulder
6)something i should never EVER again (i ask what now ?)
7) they ask me out on the spot
8) I (in the moment of a beautiful kiss ) say Yes
9) oh and this magical night all happens days before i have to leave that person for a long time
10) and even before i can see that person again we break up :/
but this last relationship not only drew my attention to my foolish pattern it also hurt the most. i stupidly dated my bestfriend ,or what i thought was a bestfriend. As i said step 1-9 happened we started dating 2 days before i was going to start my summer vacation .first 2 days i was actually feeling confident because i was going through some deep shit and he was there for me "Hmm this might work." but day 3 i never heard a word from him , no good morning no hey . by day 6 i just had to end it but of course i had no closure .. and honestly i had NO idea how he felt about me why he asked me out.?. when did he have these feelings ?i never got those answer but most importantly what was soo bad about me for you to stop talking to me for 2 months . today when i finally get answers i feel as though its a bunch of bullshit and i wasn't going to argue or have a conversation with someone who isn't interested in me and wants to waste my time .Mortal of this sorry story i am Never SETTLING again , if i say yes it wont be a spur of the moment it will be because we had several nice conversation and wonderful chemistry ,,i have to date you first before i DATE you lol and no relationships if im going some where
Day 1 , fin
Love ,ATBH (as told by Haja) :)
