iMarkkeyz - Hold It Down (w/ Donna Goudeau) by iMarkkeyz

iMarkkeyz - Hold It Down (w/ Donna Goudeau) by iMarkkeyz

My Optimistic Summer

The other night i was on my phone watching youtube videos and as you know before any video comes those annoying commercial that you can cancel after 5 secs . As i waited for the 3,2,1 I couldnt help by actually listen to what the lady was saying " lets turn our maybe and somedays into today and yeses." Literally all my life i have been the play it safe do nothing stupid because i know better type of girl ... And what has that got me ? Nothing but Crappy boyfriends and stories that intrest no one ... This summer i want EVERYTHING TO HAPPEN !! I want romance and adventure ... Ninjas dropping from the ceiling type of adventure . I refuse to play it safe anymore it has led ne nowhere but regrets... I Doing it all , except the obvious ( noone worth my future) I have 4 months to make all my other summers so jealous . Im ready . Sigh Lets do this 

                          - Eagarly, 

                          As told by Haja

New leaf

I think its about time i started doing something with all the knowledge i have like achieving something ... Its starts tomorrow only because today is almost done lol plus i gotta catch up on GOT( Game of Thrones ) 

-As Told By Haja

You shoulda said something

I truly believe my dreams are killing me .. And i mean that in the most figurative way possible . The other night i had a dream about a guy , that i have been foolishly crushing on for the longest and I know for a fact that he knows i am , because i thought he felt the same too .BUT no it took me a while to realize he's nothing but a flirt . he's the type to give you the impression that there is something between the two of you ,lure you in ,and BAM you've been consumed in his charm . Well Haja if you know all this Why are you still letting him get to you? Bro honest to God i have no idea the funny thing is this guy is the complete opposite of what i go for . Im in love with the linebacker and safety physique. Sigh* so back to this dream , we were sitting face to face in this place and he was telling me everything i wanted to hear a guy i remember smiling thinking "this guy is full of shit" but the more we talked i started to see another side of him. He asked me out on a date , and begged me to give him a chance to prove how much i mean to him Of course all these emotions made me speechless i guess i took forever because the next thing i hear him say was "Say something .. Im giving up on you ... Say something I'm giving up on you." Thanks to Christina Aguilera  and A Great Big World i woke up with the biggest chip on my shoulder ...WHY COULDN'T THIS BE REAL! Now i cant help but wonder is my mind getting the best of me or is there a reason i cant let go ?

New day 1                       

                                           -astoldbyhaja

Desperation

That seems to be the biggest problem in my relationships. its like i want something soo bad because other people are happy when they have it (envy) .Its funny because i picture myself with a certain person but i end up dating the complete opposite. Im so Despreate to call someone my boyfriend i tend not to care exactly who it is .AND the patterns is ALWAYS ALWAYS (i kid you not) the same . Took me a moment to realize .
Here are the signs that its not gonna work for me in the long run
1) Happens at an event (ball, graduation party,birthday .ect.)
2) Its Me and him Alone
3) having a short breath conversation
4) Surprises me with a kiss
5) After that perfect kiss i linger on his shoulder
6)something i should never EVER again (i ask what now ?)
7) they ask me out on the spot
8) I (in the moment of a beautiful kiss ) say Yes
9) oh and this magical night all happens days before i have to leave that person for a long time
10) and even before i can see that person again we break up :/

but this last relationship not only drew my attention to my foolish pattern it also hurt the most. i stupidly dated my bestfriend ,or what i thought was a bestfriend. As i said step 1-9 happened we started dating 2 days before i was going to start my summer vacation .first 2 days i was actually feeling confident because i was going through some deep shit and he was there for me "Hmm this might work." but day 3 i never heard a word from him , no good morning no hey . by day 6 i just had to end it but of course i had no closure .. and honestly i had NO idea how he felt about me why he asked me out.?. when did he have these feelings ?i never got those answer but most importantly what was soo bad about me for you to stop talking to me for 2 months . today when i finally get answers i feel as though its a bunch of bullshit and i wasn't going to argue or have a conversation with someone who isn't interested in me and wants to waste my time .Mortal of this sorry story i am Never SETTLING again , if i say yes it wont be a spur of the moment it will be because we had several nice conversation and wonderful chemistry ,,i have to date you first before i DATE you lol and no relationships if im going some where

                                                        Day 1 , fin
                                                              Love ,ATBH (as told by Haja) :)